An appetizer… by Jorge Aldegunde

Gobblers / Masticadores

Picture taken from Pinterest

***

There was nothing that would put her off recognising her pets daily after coming back home from a long working day. Mishi, her Persian cat, was indolently poised on the couch. Burni, her noble, old, golden-haired Rough Collie, was also around sparing sidelong glances at Spark, the Russian dwarf hamster, that would stir restlessly and take to going round the wheel in his enormous cage. Karma (not surprisingly, a chameleon) would only stare, undaunted, from a camouflaged concealment only made easier by an over-expensive fake bough she had acquired to accommodate the animal’s instincts.

However, she was worried about her immense Albino Burmese python, the reason being her lack of appetite as of lately. All in all, she felt relaxed upon realising she hadn’t seen her irrelevant husband –who generally happened to be the last pet to be accounted for– for weeks. She gave it…

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Una granja moderna

Fotografía: Ovidio Aldegunde *** La propia de los buenos espantapájaros es pasarse los días ahuyentando pajarracos. Pero el mío parloteaba con ellos y les ofrecía grano. Qué decir de la actitud del resto de animales: las vacas dejaron de dar leche –me miraban displicentes cuando las tomaba de las ubres–, en el gallinero solo se … Sigue leyendo Una granja moderna

A caricature by Jorge Aldegunde

Gobblers / Masticadores

Picture taken from Pinterest

***

First they came for cupcakes, but I didn’t say a word for I don’t like them. Then cookies became scarce albeit I heeded them not –they’re too fattening, after all–. When croissants fell, I still disregarded them. Even when they turned to doughnuts I refused to put my finger on it: I’ve always been indifferent to those sweet Yankee snacks.

Now, as they aim at my Belgian chocolate, I’ve made up my mind to take action. Coffee-machine, toaster and juicer pose an insurmountable Maginot line. I must grow strong and remain unabated behind, as they imminently strike back.

One thing is for sure though: I am not buying groceries next time!

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